


Born A Monster

by YourShadow



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: M/M, Romance, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-01
Updated: 2014-01-01
Packaged: 2018-01-06 23:58:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1113043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YourShadow/pseuds/YourShadow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Earl Ciel Phantomhive is going through puberty and has Lady GaGa help him seduce Sebastian. No seriously, it's not even AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Poker Face

**Author's Note:**

  * For [PetraJade](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PetraJade/gifts).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I’m not Lady GaGa. I’m just not. I’m not an angsty little twelve year old boy who has a demon butler either. So I don’t own the song which inspired this fic, nor the anime this fic is written for. 
> 
> Dedicated to Petra Jade, because I love you my yaoi wifey <3
> 
> This is an experiment…again. I’m writing a series of songfics without the actual lyrics, just the song titles as chapter titles. Technically this is a series of one-shots and will be written like Takes My Pain Away (Inheritance Cycle songfic) where each chapter is centered around the song and in the point of view of one character. They’ll probably be shorter than my usual, sorry. Also, these will all be Lady GaGa songs. On to the fic~

Ciel POV 

The tea is delicious this morning, but I do not tell him that. Sitting upright in bed, still in my pajamas, I simply wave him off. As he walks away, I follow him with my eyes. When the door closes, I set the cup down and sigh.

It has been months now, and still he does not notice my feelings for him. Of course, he can never know how I feel. My face can never betray my emotions. I treat this courtship like a game, as I treat everything. And I _always_ win.

However, this game may not see a conclusion at all. I will be devoured by him before I ever reveal my forbidden love. So this is just a game for myself, when the long nights overwhelm me and I have naught but the stars to gaze at.

Sebastian returns with a set of clothes and my face is set in stone. I barely breathe as he dresses me, slow and careful, as if I were something delicate. If only he knew…

When did this begin? Three years have passed since I summoned this demon to be my butler. Now I am thirteen, and I feel…different. I watch him closely, unable to tear my eyes away. Why is that? What is so fascinating about him that compels me to love him? Why can I not have these feelings for Elizabeth, my fiancé?

Of course, the day of our wedding may never come. I will attain my revenge soon, and be left hollow. Perhaps it is a sick sort of humor, the darkness of my heart, which draws me to him. Knowing he wants my soul and nothing more, knowing he protects me and treats my skin like a precious dish, concealing the meal inside…knowing he cannot love me. Is that the reason? Do I feel safe with this knowledge? If he cannot love me, he cannot hurt me. Does that make me weak?

“Something on your mind, young master?” he asks with that slow, velvet voice.

Blinking and composing my thoughts, I shake my head. Is my voice steady enough to speak? “What are the plans for today, Sebastian?” Good, stable—and I get to say his name, something I relish and indulge in often.

“Your lessons will begin after breakfast,” he begins, reciting the list of events scheduled for today. I feign interest, but mostly just listen to his voice. I like how it sounds reverberating in my ears, no matter what he says. Mesmerized, I catch myself staring at his lips and quickly look away. “My lord?”

My eyes dart back and I give him a questioning look. He smiles, that condescending curve of the mouth. “I asked if you would like to answer this letter. It seems urgent.”

I hold back an ignorant response, pretending I was contemplating his words. “Of course,” I sigh and accept the letter. It has the seal of the Police Chief. Is it a new case? My attention is preoccupied so I never notice Sebastian leave my side until I look up to see him gone. The emptiness I feel brings a scowl to my face.

* * *

During lunch I receive an odd idea. Perhaps I could…no, that would be ridiculous. But maybe…just maybe…

No, absolutely not. It is preposterous to think he would ever reciprocate my feelings, so why bother? Then again, if he _did_ feel the same…he would not be forward about it, because I am a young Earl and he is my butler. It would be uncouth. He would not want to offend me with his offer of a partnership, so he would keep silent about it. I am sure he suspects me to feel nothing.

Of course, there is always the more likely possibility that he sees me only as food. An annoying, bratty, better-be-worth-it meal. If that is the case, what would be the purpose of revealing myself?

There is a solution: I could let my emotions slip, only a little, and see how he reacts. Measuring his responses, I can deduce his feelings. I would still be playing my game, but instead of chess this would be…Russian Roulette. Why not have a little fun?

A small smirk quirks my lips up as the table is cleared and I rest my chin on my knuckles.

“Did you enjoy the meal, young master?” His voice is close, just behind me.

“It was alright.” I reply. In truth it was wonderful, as always. But again, I never tell him that. Thinking of my new plan, I search for a compliment. “The silverware went well with the dish.” Really? Is that the best I can come up with? I clear my throat and stand, beginning to regret that last comment.

He is there, pulling the chair out for me with a tray tucked under his arm as he bows. “Thank you, my lord. I chose the colors purposefully for that reason.”

Slightly stunned, I simply nod. It was a response, at least. But he did not say my name. He never says my name.

“That will be all…butler.” Let’s see how he likes it, yes? Remind him of his position, does it? Maybe that is his way of handling secret feelings, always telling himself he is beneath me?

Beneath me…let us not go down _that_ line of thinking.

“Is it warm in here?” his hand is on my forehead before I have time to register his words. His face is close, those red eyes staring into mine. Very close. Too close.

Shaking my head out of his touch, I scowl. “No.” I storm off before I can embarrass myself any more. This was a disaster already.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: Short, I know. But trust me, you won’t have to worry about long updates (wink). A note about the story title: These songs span across three albums (The Fame, The Fame Monster, and Born This Way) so I combined them. Anyway, any questions, suggestions, (gifts) comments, ideas, etc are welcome. But no flames, we just got A/C back in the house. Peace~


	2. Love Game

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Still don’t own Lady GaGa or Kuroshitsuji.

Sebastian POV

The young master stormed off, the blush deepening on his soft cheeks. I boldly stare after him, licking my lips. So he wants to play a game, does he?

Ever since our first encounter, I knew there was something…different about this boy. To summon me was one thing, but his resilience, his commitment, his _passion_ excites me. Yet he remains oblivious.

However, _I_ am not oblivious to his feelings. The way he stares, the heat of his skin when I touch him, even the way he says my name—practically purrs it in my ear, rolling it off his tongue—reveals his intentions. He does not act on them, though.

A scared little kitten? He never shied away from danger, even when he should have, so why try to hide his feelings from me? Does he not know I can see right through him, past his cold blue eye? His face may be stern and unwavering, but eyes are the key to entering the soul. I own his soul, so of course I know what lies behind those eyes.

I smile with a tilt of the head as he stomps his way into the garden, leaning against the rail and sticking his butt out as if to tease me. If I wanted to, I could fulfill his desires. Every time I dress him in the morning I look forward to _un_ dressing him at night. Bath time is my favorite time.

It amuses me how much he doesn’t have to try. Simply standing there looking up at me is enough to boil my blood. Now that he is actually trying to get my attention, I may not be able to restrain myself…

But this is all a game, and I intend to win it.

* * *

The tailor, an outgoing woman who defies restrictions, has come to fit Ciel for a new suit. He just keeps growing…

I stand by, watching, as he is stripped and measured. My eyes linger on the mark on his ribs, that cursed defilement. Looking at it sends a growl up my throat, but I do not unleash it. Better not scare the boy, if I plan on playing with him a little while.

“Look at that, your arms have even stretched out a few centimeters. And your legs have definitely extended at least two inches. Let’s see here…” the tailor was close to my prey—ahem, my _master_ —wrapping her measuring tape around his small torso. “Your waist has filled out as well, no wonder you seemed taller!”

“So he’ll be needing a larger size, then?” I reply, in case she decides to pay more attention to my young master’s body. Which belonged to me. Only me.

The boy glanced back at me, and something in his eyes told me I was showing a bit more possessiveness than usual. They widened slightly, surprised. I look away before the urge to pounce overwhelms me.

“Of course, I’ll get right on it!” the tailor says in order to divert both our attentions. I am slightly relieved, yet disappointed when she begins helping him back into his shirt.

“I will take care of his clothes while you gather your tools.” I say, perhaps with a small growl this time. As I walk toward him she starts picking up her measuring tape and clothing samples, packing them back into her bag. Ciel’s eyes are on me again, ignoring the woman as she flits about the room. I kneel down, picking up his shirt and sliding it across his arms. Buttoning it up, I lift my eyes to his and hold them.

“I’ll see you in a few weeks, take care!” the tailor announces as she leaves.

“Take care, thank you for coming.” I reply politely, eyes still locked on my young lord. I can feel him trembling beneath my touch, but he does not stop me. Trying to hide again, no doubt. We are both quiet as I continue to button his shirt. Rising, I place my hand gently on his thigh for the briefest of moments. “You’ve grown quite a lot recently.” I murmur in his ear.

He tenses for a moment, then relaxes into the jacket I lift for him to step into. “I suppose.” He replies softly. I let my fingers linger, tracing over the fabric to smooth any wrinkles. His breathing quickens, his uncovered eye following me.

Stepping away, I smile, tilting my head to the side. “I still think this outfit looks best on you.”

His face reddens again, but there is no retort. I want to lift my eyebrow as a challenge, but contain myself. It is his move now in our little game.

Abruptly, he regains his demeanor and walks past me without a word.

“Dinner will be ready after your mathematical lesson!” I call after him.

* * *

At dinner I pull his seat out as usual and watch as he eases down elegantly. Despite his young age, the master has a sense of class and decorum. Of course, he still has childish moments as well, but lives up to his title as Earl. I admire that about him, but it still irks me when he acts pompous for no reason.

Like now, demanding I switch the plates because they look too much like the ones from lunch.

Maintaining my composure—instead of bending him over my knee and giving him a spanking, as I would _like_ to do—I smile. “I was keeping to the theme of the day, my lord.”

He scowls again, and I want to tell him to smile because it looks so much better on his cherub face.

“But these do not match as well.” He replies. For a moment I have no answer, because I did not expect that from him. He smirks at my silence.

“Well in that case I have no choice but to switch them out.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: Wham Bam Thank You Ma’am! That’s what you’re supposed to say. I’ll give you a moment. 
> 
> I think Ciel and Sebastian’s sass has rubbed off on me. In other news, please leave a review telling me how much you love me for this quick review—probably the quickest ever. Or you can ask where I got this idea from. Or tell me I’m pretty! Okay that last one went too far. Just write a review. Peace~


	3. Bad Romance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: If I owned Black Butler in any way all the music would involve Lady GaGa, who I would also have to own. She would make a cute pet, I think...

Ciel POV 

Finally, I got him. I can tell he was surprised at my little comeback and could not hide a smirk. He bowed and began picking up the plates. I did this purposefully, just to watch him work. The way he moved when setting the table…captivated me.

It had nothing to do with our little encounter earlier with the tailor. It was not because when he looked up at me while buttoning my shirt I felt my heart jump behind my chest. It _definitely_ did not revolve around his hand on my thigh, inches away from…

Well, he said I was growing, and he was right.

Perhaps these feelings are linked to my growth? But what could the lengthening in my limbs have to do with…oh, now I understand. If I had a father still, he may have told me about this, prepared me for the emotions and growth I was experiencing.

Was Sebastian taking advantage of my fatherless state? It never occurred to me that he would replace my father, and it appears he has not. What is he, then? Simply a butler? Or something…more?

My thoughts are cast aside as he enters with the new dishes, placing them on the table lightly despite their weight. His strength and abilities enamore me the most. I envy his freedom and power, feeling defenseless and helpless on my own. Yet I feel protected when by his side, like his power is _my_ power.

Like earlier, when the tailor was getting close with her tape measure. I could hear the hint of a growl as he spoke to her, the commanding tone of voice as he offered to dress me instead of letting her do it. I did not miss the meaning behind his actions—if there was any meaning at all, that is. I could be imagining all of this in my delirium.

“Are these more to your liking, young master?”

Ciel. My name is Ciel. Say it, damn you! “Yes, quite.”

“Let us hope the food does not need replacement as well.”

I let out a dry laugh at his joke and begin eating. If I moan, will he be offended or pleased? He could not have made a better meal for me, and he knows it. No matter what I say, he knows my tastes better than I know myself. Perhaps this time I can be truthful.

He is waiting beside me, and when I stop chewing I slide my eyes over to him. “You have done very well with dinner. It would be preposterous to replace this.”

Again his face displays shock at my words. Am I going too far? Is this unbecoming of me?

Am I undone?

He bows again, low. “Thank you, my young master. I appreciate your compliment.” He says in a low voice. I can say or do nothing as he leaves. I did not miss the “my” he added to his usual line to me. Was that a sign?

I want to throw my napkin down and run after him. I want to order him to sit next to me and eat, even if we were both silent. I want him to remain by my side with that smirk of his staring down at me.

Instead I eat alone.

* * *

 

The rest of the evening I am distraught. Not even the case can hold my interest long enough before my mind wanders to Sebastian. What is he doing right now? How does he feel about me? What _could_ he be doing right now?

Sitting in my study by the fireplace, I attempt a game of chess. I enjoy the strain it puts on my mind, keeping myself sharp and always prepared. The heat does nothing to quell my ardor, but the game should take hold of my senses enough to distract me.

Except I lose. I lose the game to myself. What could this mean?

Oh bloody hell, I know what this means. Time to throw my cards on the table.

Sebastian comes in to prepare me for bed, and I follow him without hesitation. Determined, I let him undress me, sitting still yet leaning into his touch. If he was unaware of my feelings or intentions before, he would realize them now.

“Sebastian.” I voice his name with strength and emotion I rarely show. He looks up at me, his expression innocent. I hold him with my eyes, telling myself to remain steady with my next words. “Stay with me tonight.”

He says nothing for a moment, only blinking, then straightens. With that smile. I am beginning to _loathe_ that look on his face.

“Are your thoughts unsettled, my lord?” he asks, as if he does not know.

“No.” I reply and wait for his answer. My back is straight and I am giving him my best serious expression, the one I give to the Chief of Police when I tell him I am taking over his case. The one I use to deal with the shady black market workers.

“Then you are lonely?”

Did I hear that right? Focus, Ciel. “Perhaps I would like some company.” Let us see what he has to say about _that_.

“Afraid of what the darkness holds, young master?” he shot back at me, nearly a growl. His face shows disapproval. Still, he does not use my name.

My nerve leaves me at that moment, and I stay silent. I cannot even glare at his remark. I have lost this round.

“Some other time. I must ready the manor for tomorrow. Goodnight.” Ciel. It is left unspoken, lingering in the air like smoke from the candle he blows out. I am left in the darkness. Alone.

Afraid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: Ha! Gotcha, didn’t I? And this isn’t even my final form! …I know, I need to stop making jokes, especially meme jokes. Also, the phrase “Am I undone?” is like…my favorite Victorian English phrase ever. I don’t know why. Tell me your favorite phrase in a review! Oh am I begging? My baaaaad. Peace~


	4. Telephone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: (checks the copyright) Nope, still don’t own Black Butler or Lady GaGa.

Sebastian POV 

I left him in the darkness, alone. I had to. There was no conceivable way for me to stay if he is to remain…untouched. So I left, taking the possibility of my warmth and comfort with me. I have to remain distant from him now. Otherwise…

I am busy. Too busy. Keeping up with the brat’s chores allows me to shut out my feelings for him and the days to pass by quickly. Soon, very soon, he will be mine. Then I will be done. But for now I must keep myself restrained.

Stalking the dark halls, I do not require a candle. I hold one anyway to disguise my true nature from the servants. They need not know what lurks the mansion, prepares the master’s dinner, and organizes the entire household at night.

As I enter the pantry, I have to pause and collect myself. I end up staring at his favorite tea, Earl Grey. Bracing myself on the shelving, I allow my feelings to overcome me. Just for a moment. Hunger stings the back of my throat, and I want his soul writhing across my tongue. No. I want his _skin_ writhing against my tongue. No. He is food, to be consumed in short time. We are close. So close.

Too close.

I want this to last longer. I want to taint and corrupt his flesh, staining his soul a lovely shade of darkness. I should not want this. But I do. Oh I do.

If Ciel keeps up his antics, I will have to disconnect. If he does not stop, I may even have to leave…for a short amount of time, in order to recover my senses.

I work long and hard in order to distract myself. I put extra effort into the preparations for tomorrow, until sunlight climbs through the window with tomorrow’s arrival. I was so focused, I did not realize I was only speeding up our next meeting. He will still be asleep, and I will have to wake him to begin the day.

How many more of these will we have?

I enter his room to see the sheets strewn about. A shot of panic pushes me inside further until I see him sprawled out, sound sleep and unharmed. Maybe he really _did_ have nightmares? Well, now I feel…

I sigh and move toward the bed, picking up stray pillows that were either tossed about or fell off as he shifted during the night. Before I unleash the sunlight behind the curtains, I lean down over him. Placing my hands on either side of his tiny body, I lower myself until our foreheads touch.

If he really is asleep, this will have no effect. If he is pretending…

He twitches, then to my bewilderment turns closer to me, reaching out. I pull myself back so he does not catch me, but watch as his fingers grasp thin air. Frowning, he mumbles something incoherent and stills, burying his head in the pillow. I blink. Did he just...?

“Ciel.” I let out a whisper, testing his reaction.

“Mmmm, Sebastian.” He moans out groggily.

I jump back. My body is frozen. Time to disconnect. I close my eyes and lock away the unbidden feelings deep inside myself before they spill out of me. He really has no idea what he is asking for. He has no idea what I would do to him if given the chance.

I march over to the window and pull the drapes aside roughly, already planning my actions for the day. Thankfully, due to my preparedness I can avoid the mansion for some time without disrupting any activity. Lizzie will be coming over as well. Let her get me out of his head.

“Wake up, young master. You have a busy day ahead of you.” I announce a bit too brusquely. I must mind my tone for now.

He groans, squirming beneath the covers. I frown, unable to deal with his behavior today, and almost rip the sheets off of him. He flinches, curling into a ball.

“Se-bastian?” he mumbles, rubbing his eyes and looking up at me as if he had no idea of his previous actions. Maybe he did not. Maybe he was dreaming. But even still, it is dangerous territory for us both.

“Did you sleep well?” I ask in a calmer tone, remembering our last conversation.

He frowns, about to shake his head when he catches himself. “Well enough.” He answers gruffly, then coughs to clear his throat. “Is everything ready?”

The amount of snark in his tone makes me clench my fists. I want to wrap them around his throat and squeeze, shaking him. Instead I give him the smile he hates the most. “Of course.” Before he can think of another reply I press tea into his hands. “Drink up while I draw you a bath…”

...and you better behave or I might just have to devour you early. No need to add that.

As I turn to leave I hear a choking sound. Did I do that without noticing? No, it is just his tea. Before I can get to him he holds the napkin to his lips, not making eye contact. I hold back another sigh. This is going to be a rough day.

I run the water, making sure the temperature is right, then call him into the bathroom. He pads inside and I shut the door. This is normal, a regular routine. It should not differ with the recent events. Yet as I reach to undress him, he shrinks back, clutching his pajamas and looking at me warily. I hold out my hand, not letting the frustration appear on my face. Unlike him, I am fully capable of hiding my emotions behind a veil. Sometimes. His grip relaxes, but he still appears hesitant. Growing impatient, I stretch my hand further toward him, watching his movements. He stiffens but does not move away. I take his wrist and remove it from the shirt, then unbutton the clothing. He is silent, but his unspoken words are clear. He does not trust my behavior.

I look away as the pajamas are discarded, not even trusting myself, and pull him to the tub. I take the shampoo as he climbs in, able to look at him once again as he settles in the water. He goes underwater and I scrub the shampoo in his hair when he surfaces. I massage his scalp to get the dirt of the previous day out, wishing I could scrub his mind of dirty thoughts just as easily.

“Sebastian.” He begins tentatively.

“Hush, you may get soap in your mouth.” I tell him. On second thought, he may need it if he proceeds.

Instead he complies. Odd. Usually he is the one ordering everyone else. Rare is the day when he takes orders, especially from his _butler_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: Another one bites the dust! We’re halfway through too! I better stop for the night since I keep getting distracted. These chapters will give you guys something to chew on for now, right? Anyway, let me know what you think in a review! (Oh look, a normal ending to this message!) Peace~


	5. Paparazzi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: If the day comes when I own Kuroshitsuji, hell will freeze over and demons will be ice skating. This includes Sebastian. The day I own Lady GaGa, that meat dress will be fed to wolves. But not her. She’ll go in a cage and sing on demand.

Ciel POV 

I bite my lip as he rubs the shampoo into my hair. Leaning back to rest my head on the tub, I close my eyes and just let him work. Something tells me this is as close we will get for a while. Did I do something wrong?

I resist moaning as he works his fingers in my hair, even though he knows how good it feels. I bring my leg up to steady myself before I fall in. Then Sebastian would have to save me. Hmm, there’s an idea…

He taps my shoulder, meaning he is done and I must rinse. I hesitantly dip down into the water again, combing my hair back in the water and as I come back up for air. He works the suds in my hair again and I am under his complete control.

This is torture. He is punishing me for some reason, making me subservient this way. What did I do?

“Sebastian…” the desperation in my voice makes me cringe, but it gets his attention. His hands still and I open my good eye. But I do not know what to say. How do I ask him? “Is there…something wrong?”

“Why would there be?” he replies quickly, without even a glance as he grabs the body soap. I hesitate, wishing I knew how to do this myself if he plans to work my body the same way as my hair.

“You seem…angry.” I sound pitiful. Maybe I am still delusional.

He finally looks at me and…did I stop breathing?

“Angry, young master?” he asks smoothly. Too smoothly. Like something is lying beneath the surface of his words. “Have I hurt you, to make you feel this way?”

No, but you are now. “Well no, I just…” stammering away, I let the thought go. “C-carry on.” I do a half-hearted wave for him to continue and slink back against the wall of the tub.

He lathers the soap and then his hands are on my body. I close my eyes and think about anything but his hands. What will I be doing today? Oh that’s right, Elizabeth is coming. That knowledge allows me to completely forget about Sebastian. _Elizabeth is coming_.

Perhaps this will be a good thing. She can take my mind off my butler, and help me readjust to normalcy. After all, she _is_ my fiancé, so my thoughts _should_ be on her. Not on…ohhhhhhh….

“Young master?”

Did I…just moan out _loud_? I can feel the heat in my cheeks as I sink lower in the tub. This day needs to be over already.

“Are you…sensitive there?” he asks. I can hear his smirk, _hear it_ in his voice.

Of course I am you twit! I want to yell. But I keep it to myself. “I…fell the other day, so I am still a bit sore.” I lie. Bad idea.

“Young master! Why did you not tell me?” he exclaims and begins a thorough search of my body for any damage.

I cannot help but let out a shriek as he touches me, thrashing away from him. I try to slow my breathing and I know my eyes are wild. God that was close. Why did I have to lie like that? I just made things worse.

“N-nothing…I…I’m fine.” I pant, trying to compose myself.

He stares at me, regarding my behavior with narrowed eyes. Suddenly his demeanor has changed, from cold to…hot, actually. Really hot…is it the bathwater?

“Are you sure?” he asks evenly, with the eyes of a predator.

I catch something in his voice. “Yes, of course.” I reply, wondering why…

Oh. He thought someone hurt me and was trying to look after his… _meal_. I scowl at him. “I have a busy day, hurry up.” I snap.

He glares at me. Actually _glares_ at me. A hint of fear runs up my spine before he grabs me and begins running the soap along my skin again. I try to relax but his touch is rough. Now he is angry. I have to do something to fix this before it is too late.

“Sorry.” I mumble. He pauses before continuing, softer than before. That is as a close of an acceptance as I will get it seems.

* * *

“Cieeeeeel! Oh Cieeeeeel!” Elizabeth’s piercing call echoes through the halls. I groan, putting down the newspaper. She is here.

Sebastian looks up from pouring my afternoon tea. “I shall greet her and meet you in the garden for lunch.” He states curtly and leaves.

This was actually the first time I saw him since this morning. He was mysteriously gone all day up until now, no doubt because he knew Elizabeth would arrive. I sigh and stand, folding the newspaper and tucking it under my arm. I walk down the hall toward the doors leading outside and see a table already set up and neatly prepared. Sitting, I have a moment to myself before Elizabeth flies into the garden. Sebastian is behind her with the food. I am clutched tightly to her bosom before she sits and Sebastian sets the food down. After bowing he is gone again.

I glance over to catch the end of his coattails disappearing behind the corner.

“Ciel! The manor looks wonderful, but it could use a few more decorations.” Elizabeth chirps.

I use my tea as an excuse to not reply. I should be paying more attention to her, but I cannot stop thinking of Sebastian and how I woke up.

“What should we do today? We could go out on the river, or host a ball!”

“No balls, Elizabeth.” I refuse to cringe at my own poor choice of words. It is bad enough that Sebastian is on to my behavior, but Elizabeth can never know my secret feelings.

She frowns, then brightens as a new idea comes to her mind.

* * *

We end up playing a silly game, but it is enough of a distraction to keep my mind off my missing butler. We originally planned to go out on the boat, but Tanaka told me Sebastian left for the day. I ran him out with my rude and selfish actions. But still, I hope he returns soon.

I did not miss the looks Elizabeth cast me as we played. She could tell something was wrong, but did not say anything. I am slipping.

Where is Sebastian?

* * *

It is right as we are preparing for bed when he comes home. Without much conversation, he helps me into my pajamas and onto the bed. Elizabeth runs in, donning her own nightgown, and hops up beside me. He tucks us both in and I look at him, wanting him to stay. Wanting him to take Elizabeth’s place.

He stares into my eyes—a silent no—and is gone, leaving me in darkness again, but not alone. He is out of my reach.

But I will not give up. What Earl Ciel Phantomhive wants, he gets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: Ciel is Sebastian’s biggest fan, he’ll chase him down until Sebby loves him (wink). I hope that was enough fanservice for this chapter, look out for more in the next one! Please let me know what you think in a review and give me loves because they make me happy! Peace~


	6. Just Dance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Ciel and Sebastian would be legit as a pairing if I had my way. Sadly I do not. And Lady GaGa would have less weird outfits if she were my pet, but she isn’t. I have a weird dog instead.

Sebastian POV 

It was painful—agony—being away from him all day. But it was what I needed. Returning refreshed, I was able to undress him without any stray thoughts of leaving him undressed, even tucked him in with Lizzie with a smile before leaving. I did not rip her throat out and replace her cold corpse with my own, even though Ciel’s eyes begged me to.

That look. It nearly tore me apart to see it, but I had to leave before I indulged it.

* * *

The absence was not enough, though. As the night wore on I ached even more to be with him. Instead of staying alert and focused, I am dizzy with thoughts of him. I want to hold him close, run my hands over him as I did in the bath, and keep him in my grasp even if he tries to escape.

Growling, I stalk around the mansion. The servants wisely steer clear of my trail of wrath. I cannot get anything right for tomorrow. I broke two dishes, ripped the drapes as I pulled them closed, and almost knocked over the priceless (well, according to some) vase in the hallway.

This is not like me. I am refined. I am simply one _hell_ of a butler. Yet here I am, stumbling around like a drunk who cannot even prepare a simple table set for breakfast. I wonder how upset Ciel will be if he discovers the mess I caused already. I wonder what he would say if I simply gave up for the night. Instead of allowing myself to rest, I work even harder. There is no point in upsetting him further. Clearly, he is in a delicate position at the moment.

I was able to fix everything without anyone noticing by the time I had to wake up the young master and his fiancé. They almost looked cute, cuddled up together beneath the sheets. I still wished to push her aside and join him, as I should have done the night before. Alas, time travel is not among my vast list of abilities. If it was, I could have eaten much sooner by simply stopping the murders of his parents. But that would be too easy.

And I would not have grown to love him so much. Love, did I say _love_? Perhaps I should attempt to go back in time…

* * *

 It is now time for the dance lesson, but the teacher is running late. I glare at my watch. Ciel is waiting impatiently, tapping his foot on the floor and sending my nerves out of the window. Lizzie is sitting with a smile on her face, unperturbed as always. I wonder if she will scream if I transform into my true demon self?

“I believe we will have to forgo the dancing lesson for today, as it seems your instructor is indisposed.” I say, clipping my watch shut.

“But he _has_ to learn how to dance!” Lizzie exclaims.

“Do I really?” he sighs exasperatedly. It is obvious he has no desire to learn and is embarrassed for even having to learn.

“Yes! Sebastian, you can teach him can’t you?” she asks, turning to me.

I blink, silent. Ciel is looking at me with a horrified expression that Lizzie cannot see. “I am not sure…”

“Pleeeeeeaaaasseeeee!”

I am more myself as I answer, a plan in action. “Well, I suppose an Earl who cannot dance is not a very influential Earl. How would others view you if you cannot even dance with your fiancé or another partner at a ball?”

“I won’t _go_ to a ball.” The young master replies through gritted teeth. There is a warning in his eyes, but I ignore it. As always.

“Come now, I can teach you the basic steps.” I tell him, opening my arms for him. He glares, but at the prodding of Lizzie he steps toward me. I take his hands in mine before he can run away and begin to move. “One, two, one, two. Place your left foot here. No, _here_. There you go. No, you stepped on my foot, let us try again. One, two, one, two. Better, but you are still clumsy.”

Ciel is truly a child as I guide him through the dance. I take advantage of his ignorance and end up pulling him away from Elizabeth and to the other side of the room. She does not mind, in fact is enthralled by our performance, staring with an open-mouthed grin. Ciel, on the other hand, is grunting and cursing under his breath, unsteady on his feet and clearly unhappy. I have to grin too.

“This is actually quite fun.” I tease, back to my old self at last.

He grumbles something probably atrocious and I lean down. Elizabeth is distracted by Tanaka who brought tea, so I seize the moment. “I would dance with you any time, Ciel.” I breathe into his ear.

His eye opens wide as he stares up at me, mouth agape in surprise. I chuckle and gently push his chin up. He does not move. I smile at him, head tilted to the side.

“Why did you stop? You two looked so cute together!” Elizabeth calls out when she looks back over at us.

His face reddens as his back stiffens and he stumbles for words. I must save the day once again. “Perhaps we will continue another time. We have already gone past the allotted period and will be running late for tonight’s entertainment if we do not stop now.” I explain.

Ciel is able to calm himself and steps away, returning to Lizzie after giving me a curious look.

* * *

This time when I prepare him for bed, Elizabeth is in her own home. We are alone. Together. I smirk and look up at him.

“Would you care to dance, my lord?” I ask, bowing and holding out my hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: Muwahahaha! Told you there would be more fanservice. Originally I imagined Sebastian being a prick and doing the “just keep swimming” dance as he continues to avoid Ciel’s obvious crush, but this turned out much better, I think. Next up is the finale. But wait, there’s more! Call now and receive a bonus chapter with a non-GaGa related song! Offer ends within the next ten minutes. Peace~


	7. Marry The Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don’t even own the DVD set of Kuro. I hope to change that around my birthday though. I don’t think I own a Lady GaGa CD either…so I definitely don’t own her music.

Ciel POV 

As I wake, I feel arms wrapped around me. Warm, strong arms that make me feel safe and whole and…loved. I do not want to move, in case this is another dream. But still, I want to confirm what is happening. Opening my eyes, I see a familiar mark on an ungloved hand. Smiling because I cannot help myself, I turn to face Sebastian. His eyes are closed, but I get the feeling he is awake too.

“Morning.” He murmurs, slowly opening his eyes.

I hesitate before snuggling closer. “Morning.” I whisper, ducking my head against his chest. He chuckles, the rumble right next to my ear. I want to tell him I love him. I want to stay in bed forever and stare into his eyes. Instead I say nothing and grip his shirt tightly.

“I am afraid we must prepare for the day.” He says, lips to my ear. I try not to giggle because his breath tickles. His lips trace my jaw before placing a soft kiss against my cheek and I feel…happy. As if I never knew any other happiness. As if a weight lifted and I am floating. I expected this to come once I got my revenge, but now? I care not whether that day ever comes.

Begrudgingly, I move out of his embrace. This is not the time for a temper tantrum, even though I want to kick and scream before leaving him.

“Shall I fetch your clothes?” he asks. I nod and he ruffles my hair before standing from the bed and going to the closet. I watch him sort through outfits, staring at the wrinkles in his butler’s uniform. It suits him. It suits him very well.

Pulling out the winning number, he returns. Before he can begin, I reach up and straighten his tie. I also adjust his vest and start smoothing his shirt. He is surprised at my actions, just standing there staring at me. Finally he places one hand over mine and I look up to see him smiling. I smile back.

I realize something as he dresses me. Even though Elizabeth is my fiancé, it is Sebastian I want to marry and be with. Despite the fact that it would be impossible as well as irresponsible, I want him to be standing at the altar with me. I want to marry his darkness, his night, his raven’s wing.

There is only one problem, and I stare at it as he laces the froth at my throat. Our contract decrees that when I fulfill my wish—my revenge—I am to die by his hands so he can consume my soul. I have been, and always will be, a meal. Why would he keep me alive even after the contract is fulfilled just to be with me? The knowledge turns my smile into a frown. Suddenly, I actually want to live. Suddenly, I have something to live _for_.

And he is destined to take my life.

“Ciel?”

Hearing my name spoken by his lips snaps my head up to meet his eyes. “Yes?” I breathe, because louder words are not at my disposal.

“Is something wrong?” he asks, concern plain on his face.

“It’s just…” I cannot say it. Do not want to acknowledge it.

He looks down at his contract seal and then up at mine. Taking his hand, he places it over my eye.

“I want this to last longer as well, my young master.” He murmurs after a moment.

I try to hide my surprise. So I am not just food? A well-matured dinner? I am _more_ than that to him?

“Of course you mean more to me than hunger or thirst. I would not give you up for the promise of a feast.” He adds, as if he can read my mind. Wait, can he? That would be…unpleasant at times. He smiles at me and I freeze. I am thinking of the number twenty-two.

“Your face is easy to decipher at times.” He explains. I breathe a sigh of relief, knowing my thoughts are safe again. Unless he was lying. But demons never lie…right?

“Come, speaking of food, you must be famished.” He states, straightening.

I shake my head to clear the negative thoughts and hop off the bed, following him to the dining room.

* * *

During breakfast I think on love. I think on my parents who were happy together, and Madam Red who envied them. I think on my aunt’s desire to marry my father, and how I would have been if she were my mother instead. I think on Grelle, who confesses his devotion to Sebastian at each meeting—while trying to kill him, no less. And I think of Elizabeth, who I am to wed if I live long enough. What is love to a demon? What is love to a contract?

Sebastian stays with me while I eat, smiling at me and clearing plates as I finish each course. He looks happy. He looks like he is in love. But even looks can be deceitful, whether he is lying or not. And prey is often tricked before consumption.

Until my demise, however, I will stick to our unspoken covenant. I will smile when he asks me to, watch him place the dishes on the table, and let him bathe me for as long as he likes. I will not hide my feelings around him, now that I know they are reciprocated. I will not shy away at his touch, nor allow myself to think of our final moments together. I will serve him as he serves me.

I will marry the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: I gave a few hints for the bonus chapter. Just to be a tease. Oh, you thought this was the last one? Nahhhhh bro there’s an epilogue. Also, when re-reading these chapters be sure to look for a theme, and don’t forget all the sexual innuendos! When you’re done, drop me a review with your thoughts! Oh, and just to be clear, no jailbait was ravaged in the making of this chapter (in normal terms: No, they did not have sex. Sebastian just slept beside him for the night.) Peace~


	8. Trouble

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: MUWAHAHHA I am laughing because if I owned Black Butler Sebastian would have done this. And by this I mean READ THIS CHAPTER. Oh, and Taylor Swift is an independent white woman who don’t need no man until she runs out of song ideas. That was horrible, I apologize T. Swift. Looooove youuuuuu.

Ciel should have known this would happen. Happiness, especially his own, did not last forever. Of all people, he was the least likely to ever feel the emotion. But for a fleeting amount of time, he did. It was glorious. It was over.

Upon the discovery of his parents’ murderer and his own fate that night, he fulfilled the contract made with a demon many years ago. That demon took him to an island of ruins and sat him on a stone bench, mostly whole except for the edge on one side. This was it. This was the end.

_‘Do not cry. Do not cry. Do not…cry’_ he chanted to himself as he stared at Sebastian, who was leaning close, but not for a kiss. Well, perhaps a farewell kiss, but nothing more. It was dinner time.

“Will it hurt?” the boy asked, glad that his voice was still steady. For now.

“A little, unfortunately. I will try to make it as painless as possible.” Sebastian replied softly, brushing some hair out of Ciel’s hair.

“Where will I go?”

“Are you afraid?”

“No.”

“Then it does not matter.”

Sebastian leaned in further. “Close your eyes, Ciel Phantomhive. Go to sleep. Dream of a world where your family is whole.”

Tears welled in the boy’s eyes, so he did as he was told before they could drop. Finally their roles were reversed as Sebastian was allowed to be his true nature. He was no longer the master. Then again, he never was.

Ciel knew what he was getting into from the start. He knew he would not be able to escape his fate once he made that contract. He could have prolonged it further, but there was no point in falling even deeper into the pit he dug for himself. If he waited too long, he would lose his dignity.

Sebastian took a moment to memorize Ciel’s face, brushing a finger against the soft skin. He could not hold back any longer, not with the scent of his soul wrapping around him. Not with the fire in his stomach demanding satisfaction. Not when he could lose his nerve at any moment and starve himself to death.

_‘One last kiss.’_ He thought and pressed his lips against Ciel’s. It tasted sweet and innocent. He wondered if his soul would taste the same. He let their foreheads touch and lingered. Then…

* * *

Ciel POV 

Once upon a time I made a mistake. You saw I was alone. You found me. I thought you would save me, but I guess you did not care about me that much. Because when I finally fell, you stepped back…away from me.

You were gone even before this moment, standing right next to me. It was my fault. I should have known…

But I knew you were trouble when you showed up. Shame on me for ever loving you. You took me to places I never thought existed. But then you let me down. And now? My body lies on the cold hard ground.

Soulless.

* * *

Sebastian POV 

I cannot apologize. I cannot cry for this atrocity. He does not need to know he is the reason why I am sitting here, next to his lifeless body, with my head in my hands. Drowning in sorrow.

Shall I move on? Find a next meal? Forget about this moment and move far away from here?

I know now that I was gone even before I met Ciel Phantomhive. It was a cruel joke to play on an innocent boy—a boy who could be alive right now.

But he knew I was trouble when he summoned me. Shame on him for taking me to places I have never seen. Until I let him down. Now he is lying on the cold hard ground.

Soulless.

* * *

 Ciel POV 

A fear creeps across what is left of my existence. Did he ever love me? Was it all a farce? The protection, the concern, the daily tasks he forced himself to do for me—were they all lies to reach the end game?

But I knew this would be trouble once I summoned him. So the shame belongs to me for letting him take me to places where I could reach happiness and love. It was right there, right there in front of me the whole time. Now I am left to lie on the cold hard ground.

_Soulless._

_I knew you were trouble when you walked in._

_Trouble, trouble, trouble._

_I knew you were trouble when you walked in._

_Trouble, trouble, trouble._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: I cried while writing this, just so you know. Not to knock the anime, but…you had to see this coming. Don’t get me wrong, Black Butler 2 is a fangirl’s dream (And I, madam, am a fangirl), but I wanted this fic to have a…proper ending. Feel free to ignore it though if you want, I don’t mind XD. I was listening to this song while writing other chapters and said to myself: This. Is. PERFECT for the ending. So yeah. And I used the last few lyrics for the last lines, so sue me. You may have noticed I changed the lyrics when in Ciel and Sebastian’s POV as well, so HA! No seriously don’t sue me. But you can leave a nice review for me. Or yell at me for writing this bonus chapter. Just review. Peace~


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